Toxic personality

Toxic personalities are often confused with narcissism, which is not correct, but the narcissist is always toxic. Simply put, a toxic individual is not necessarily a narcissist, but rather a mean, selfish person who behaves very badly. The feeling of being surrounded by them is therefore toxic, energy draining and very unpleasant.

A demanding individual who is never satisfied and makes us feel uncomfortable. Impatient and with great frustration when things don’t go their way. The  person can still, despite that feel both love and empathy and that is something that a narcissist is not capable of. A toxic person can be that,  even if they only have one of this type of behavior. This is subjective, it is not narcissism. Toxic being subjective can mean that what you experience as toxic, does not do so for someone else.

NPD, narcissistic personality disorder vs narcissistic behavior

Narcissism is one or more traits, whereas NPD is a pervasive behavioral pattern that affects all aspects of life and its functions. It is entirely possible to have narcissistic traits without meeting the criteria for the actual diagnosis. For NPD, a specific number of traits and behaviors must be present without exception.

Narcissistic personality

An individual who constantly lies, manipulates and causes their surroundings to drift further and further away from their own personality and perception of reality. An individual who has extremely low or nonexistent empathy, is controlling, arrogant, grandiose and superficial. A person that  has a constant need for validation and admiration, while also being envious of everything and everyone.

This person always makes you feel like you are not good enough, but you are Good As You Are, and it is not your fault that things have turned out this way. There are nine variations of narcissists, with a range of common “cornerstones” such as manipulation, lack of empathy, superficiality, a constant pursuit of validation, irritability, grandiosity, entitlement and often uncontrolled anger.

Grandiose narcissist

The most common variant that exists. Very lively, social, seen and heard everywhere and can with small tricks turn a party into something unique with their fake, forced charm. Their ability to make the entire “audience” dancing and admire them is more of a rule than an exception. If it doesn’t work, they simply switch audiences.

Regardless of whether they are a colleague, friend, parent, sibling, or partner, their grandiosity is striking. They expect top-tier treatment where nothing less is good enough.

It doesn’t matter if they are not your type at all, but the truly manipulative variant can still manage to make you fall for them. This ability in their manipulation is devastating to become entangled in. All these types operate using the same model for psychological breakdown. This can be simply explained by what was previously mentioned: love bombing, devalue and discard.

Since the grandiose narcissist is often perceived as social, charming, and outgoing, it is often the victim who appears bitter and difficult in the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. This makes it even harder for the victim, whose surroundings often have no idea about the psychological abuse taking place. That is why the breakdown can go far before the individual receives support and help.

Introvert, vulnerable narcissist

Here is a truly manipulative and calculating individual. I’ve encountered this variant along with invented spiritual and religious elements. Never could I believe that people could be so genuinely evil. If you haven’t had the devil in the room before, it was there then. This is very difficult, as it can take time to realize that it is a narcissist. This is because the person is extremely skilled at playing introverted, withdrawn, lonely, abandoned, exposed and is always a victim.

The individual is extremely sensitive to criticism, there is no room for it at all and with it also a great passive aggressiveness. They often project their feeling, (self-loathing), for themselves onto others. In this way, you are perceived as hostile and will be treated accordingly.
Outwardly, the individual may even be pleasant, may cry, may pretend to open up to gain trust and may even pretend to be empathetic.

An extremely far-reaching parasitism beyond all limits and selfish at a horrific level. Difficult to spot and often shocking to those around them that such a small ‘sweet’, shy and withdrawn individual could harm anyone.

Malignant Narcissist

A terrifyingly mean and boundless variety where nothing matters but themselves. They exploit, lie, cheat and push all boundaries to suit their needs. They are considered the ‘end of the line’ before psychopathy, combining narcissism, sadism, antisocial behavior and paranoia.

In the beginning they are extremely charming, with an air of confidence about them, though many times these are successful with real top jobs.

Narcissistic “supply”

All these types work from the same model and goal. The aim is to break you down to the level where they can control and take as much as possible before moving on to the next victim. Generally speaking, everyone is a potential victim if the narcissist can get something out of it, whatever it is. This is usually called narcissistic supply, which can be categorized into “A and B supply”. Supply doesn’t have to be a person, it’s something that gives them something.

If we talk about a person as a supply, then usually an A supply is their security, lifesaver and garbage can at the same time. An A supply is for them the boring, grumpy and constant whiner who is stressful for them. The B supply can also be a complete stranger, but who gives them “good vibes” right there and then. This also explains why so many of them are notoriously unfaithful. The reason is that they are looking for the kicks and affirmation that they feel A supply no longer provides.

These different B people will always exist and you are usually left completely devastated,  unable to understand how little you mattered. You can’t understand what made the other person better or more beautiful than you, but it’s not that at all. The fault is not yours and you were and are still  Good As You Are.

They can cheat on you with just about anyone, even with a gender they are usually not even attracted to. This is because they don’t feel empathy and love like us at heart, but are only driven by the kicks of their boundless and disrespectful world.

They do it for that forbidden boost, which at the same time gives them an inflated sense of how desirable they are. No matter how badly they treat you, but you will never get a genuine apology, only empty words. They feel no remorse for hurting other people and they do no wrong, so why apologize? Unfortunately, it is still you as A supply they seek out again and they may do so for many years after your relationship has ended. One of the thousand reasons to have zero contact, when you have decided to leave.

Always remember

No other person has the right to treat you like this. A person with a normal emotional intelligence is not mean and selfish, they are not unfaithful or belittle you. They care about you and give as much as you do.

This is just a small part of the horrible tactics they use. Would you like more detailed information?

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